


Levels of Intimacy

by Jaebear



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst in the future, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Haikyuu Timeskip, High school to adult characters, Hurt/Comfort, Japan Volleyball Association Kuroo Tetsurou, M/M, Pro Volleyball Player Tsukishima Kei, Swearing, havent written in so long, kinda OOC, kuroo being a flirt, not purely related to the episodes, soft tsukki, some rusty writing, timeskip jobs in later chapters, tsukki being a tsun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 08:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaebear/pseuds/Jaebear
Summary: When Tsukishima first met Nekoma's volleyball captain, he didn't expect himself to gravitate towards him. Importantly, he didn't expect him to seek something deeper than just a casual friendship. The deeper their friendship got, so did Tsukishima's feelings for the captain. He thought of Kuroo on the daily to the point that he's the only thing he can think about. He wonders how far their relationship would go.But, he's the only thing that Tsukishima can think about—even until the end.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 24
Kudos: 87





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> I fucking suck at writing summaries, please help. 
> 
> Also this is the first chapter of possibly a 5 part story??
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: not proofread; possible grammar and spelling errors

Kuroo first noticed him after the " _encouraging_ " chat he had with the captain of Karasuno. His eyes glanced at the blonde, watching as his eyes squinted in annoyance. With a grin thrown his way, he and his team depart, giving one last look at the blonde. To his surprise, he was looking at him with curiosity, tilting his head to the side before clicking his tongue, following his team sluggishly. Kuroo gave a short chuckle, amused as to where this could go. 

The moment that Kuroo saw the tall blonde enter the gym, he couldn't take his eyes off of him. His sharp eyes held a secret that Kuroo couldn't quite understand, and yet he watched it quickly change to one of excitement, albeit for just a moment. The squeaking of sneakers and yells were muffled as his attention was focused on every move the blonde did. Only did he snap out of his trance after feeling a hard slap on his upper back. With a scowl, he faced Taketora, glaring at his carefree visage. 

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima didn't like the look that captain was giving him. He felt goosebumps rise at his inquiring stare, as if he was trying to figure him out—he didn't like it, not one bit. Yamaguchi could see how unnerved Tsukishima was, which was unusual to the usually stoic blonde. 

"Is something wrong, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi asked, peering up at his friend, watchin how his eyebrows furrowed together. He could see his hands clench inside his jacket, his eyes non-blinking as his eyes never left the floor.

"No," came his abrupt reply. Yamaguchi knew he shouldn't pry with the sharp tone he used on him unlike the bored one he would normally hear, and all he could do was sigh, biting his lip as he wondered what could have bothered his impassive friend. 

The ecstatic voices of Nishinoya and Tanaka, with the inclusion of Hinata and Kageyama's usual banter, was a welcome noise as Tsukishima's thoughts were loud in his head, buzzing around and creating more thoughts— _who was he? What does he want? Why was he looking at me like that?_ A low growl left his lips which was unheard by the others considering that the freak duo's banter became an argument that Tanaka and Nishinoya decided to join in, suppressing the threats that Sugawara was spouting. Soon enough, Daichi's booming voice echoed in the gym as he lectured the four of them, Sugawara standing beside him in such a way that a mother would watch as the children get scolded by their father for their rowdy behavior.

Tsukishima scoffed at them, receiving a glare from all four. "You're really arguing here, in front of other schools? At least disassociate yourselves from us if you do. We don't want to be seen like some animals with no control."

Growls erupted from the four, some of them ready to bark. Tsukishima laughed, Yamaguchi stifling his beside him. Before they could retaliate, Daichi called the team's attention, gathering around Ukai and Takeda. The managers were busy preparing their towels and water bottles, hearing giggles erupt from the girls. Tanaka's and Nishinoya's eyes wandered to Kiyoko's, pouting at her retreating figure. Tsukishima watched them disinterestedly, barely paying attention to the strategy being presented to them. How could he focus when he could feel a burning stare on his right. He tried to ignore it, shaking his head to clear away all thoughts of that odd captain, but he couldn't help how his eyes slowly moved its gaze to the captain of the opposing team. There he was, hand on his hip, eyes boring into his; he exuded nonchalance, even having the audacity to stare at Tsukishima down his nose, a smirk gracing his features. With a half-hearted attempt at a glare, he scoffed at him, facing back to Ukai's discussion. Hopefully he'd do well against that _fucking_ captain. 

  


* * *

  


_What the fuck._

That was what ran through Tsukishima's head as they played against one another, watching the captain's quick reflexes and sharp movements. He couldn't keep up. Before he knew it, the game ended in Nekoma's favor. The teams bowed, leaving to the sidelines. Encouragements were passed around the team, patting their backs and catching their breaths. As usual, Hinata being the social butterfly he is, he's already made a friend in Nekoma, jumping around and recalling the previous match.

Tsukishima took a gulp from his water bottle, shocked to see the captain moving towards him. He looked to his team, wondering if they're seeing their rival approaching their side of the gym. He cursed once he realized that the team was too busy chatting amongst themselves and that he was too far from the team for them to notice. 

"Hey. You did well out there. You're not like a high school student at all." 

Tsukishima looked up to the male, giving a mumbled out "thanks" and a bow, not purely understanding what he meant. He wanted to leave so badly and just escape this awkward encounter. Why was he far away from the others in the first place? Before he could reply, he noticed Hinata and Inuoka, still jumping excitedly, using words that he couldn't even understand. 

"What... They're like children, talking like that."

Kuroo gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Yeah, but you should let loose a little. You're too stiff."

"No. I'm not like them." He gripped his water bottle tighter. _God please help me._ Kuroo noticing his discomfort, squeezed his shoulder, letting it linger there for a while before peering at his face to give him a smirk.

Tsukishima scowled, still unsure what his intentions are. "See you, _megane_ ," Kuroo nodded, walking towards Daichi. They gave one another a handshake, veins protruding as they gripped their hands tightly, letting out menacing laughter that turned heads. All Tsukishima could do was watch as the captains held even tighter to their hands, never letting go. His eyes watched the back of Kuroo's head, head tilting inquisitively. His eyes scanned Kuroo's body, unconsciously stopping on his ass. Kuroo turned around to go back to his team until he saw Tsukishima and where his eyes were facing. Tsukishima jumped and looked away, his ears reddening in embarrassment. Kuroo raised his eyebrows with a mischievous grin, walking back to their side of the gym, Tsukishima not missing the way how Kuroo slightly lifted his shirt to release some heat.

_I fucking hate myself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the inspiration to write this when I was reading a theory from our communication class. It's also been 4 years since I last wrote something so yay I finally got some motivation to start writing again.


	2. Serendipitous Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima didn't expect to see him here, because really, why was he here, in Miyagi of all places? But, he's not complaining, as long as he gets to spend time with the scheming captain that's been running through his head ever since the summer training camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 2k words. im sorry
> 
> May contain typos and grammatical errors. Not proofread.

After the summer training camp and meeting Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi, he felt a sense of respect towards them (maybe one more than the others). The scheming captain, as much as he hates to admit it, was constantly running through his thoughts. At first, it was how Kuroo even took him under his wing, giving tips to their school rival. But, the words that Kuroo uttered muffled into unintelligible mutterings until Tsukishima only saw the way his lips moved. Then, to his sharp eyes and the butterflies they bring to Tsukishima's being. 

Even just lying in bed waiting for sleep to take over, his eyes would snap open at the thought of the captain's boisterous laughter. Tsukishima would throw the covers over his head in an attempt to block out the echoing laughter in his ears. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, his presence just overpowered anything Tsukishima tried to distract himself with. Even picking out what to drink in a convenience store, his thoughts would wander to what Kuroo would enjoy or what his dislikes are. The grip on the juice bottle in his hands shook with embarrassment, slamming the fridge door closed, and stomping over to the quivering cashier. Her gaze landed on the obviously irritated blonde, but took no notice of how the tips of his ears burned red. 

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima was busy scrolling through his playlist, fingers tapping at songs before quickly moving onto the next one. He was indecisive with what song would currently fit his mood right now, _I should make a new playlist_. Unconsciously, he thought of what type of music the captain likes, even trying to think of what to name the playlist. Tsukishima's footsteps halted at the thought, mentally cursing himself for even thinking of him at the weirdest of times. With a deep sigh, Tsukishima lifted his phone to slap at his forehead—a punishment he deemed necessary for allowing that mischievous captain to permeate his thoughts once again. 

Tsukishima's strides were longer, more determined. He just wanted to go home and eat the cake his mom suggested he buys for them. The cake box gently swung in his left hand, the strawberry shortcake that he craved finally in his grasps. Tsukishima can't wait to finally get home. His thumb continued to scroll through his playlist, finding a more appropriate song that—

"—shima!"

Tsukishima stopped his mindless scrolling, lifting his head to glance around the vicinity. He pushed his headphones down to his neck. He swore he could've heard something. Before he could continue to scroll through his playlist once more, a heavy hand slapped itself onto his shoulder. Tsukishima's whole body shook, his left hand almost let go of the cake box. _Almost_. He gritted his teeth, ready to chew out the person who had the audacity to bother someone—specifically him—on their _relaxing_ stroll home. Tsukishima's mouth opened to sneer at the person, but bit back his tongue as his widened eyes trailed up to the person's ever-present bedhead. 

_Oh shit_. 

"Yo." Kuroo's hand lifted as a greeting, his hand on Tsukishima's shoulder tightened reassuringly. 

Tsukishima slightly shrugged himself from Kuroo's grip, the hand on his shoulder disappearing along with the warmth it exuded. Tsukishima wouldn't admit it to himself, but his shoulder felt foreign without the comfort Kuroo's hand brought. Tsukishima stiffened at the thought, his eyes wandered over to Kuroo's mischievous ones. The smirk that he remembered from their last meeting was absent, instead a smile graced his visage, something that Tsukishima found _attracting_. With a deep inhale, he stiffly bowed to his senior, Kuroo merely waving him off. 

"So, what brings you here?" Kuroo's hands lifted up, gesturing to what's around them. The afternoon sun was setting, casting an orange hue on their figures and the shops that surrounded them. The plastic bag that was wrapped around his fingers rustled, bringing Tsukishima's attention to it briefly. He noticed the soda bottles and plastic-wrapped sweets through the transparent plastic. 

Tsukishima's eyes wandered back to Kuroo's unwavering gaze, an eyebrow raised inquisitively. "I was just"—he lifted the cake box—"out to buy something for dinner." 

Kuroo glanced at the box, peering curiously over the see through plastic on top of the box. He chuckled at the strawberries and hint of pink frosting that topped the cake. His eyes rose up to Tsukishima's wary ones. Tsukishima did not like the way this _cat_ looked at him. It sent shivers down his spine. The teasing glint was obvious even in their darkening surroundings. _How long have we been standing here?_

"Oh? Strawberry? Didn't see you as the type," Kuroo teased, standing up to his full height, hands on his waist.

Tsukishima halfheartedly glared at him. "That's none of your business." This time, it was his turn to stand to his full height. Despite being a bit taller than his senior, those extra centimeters meant a lot to his ego. He was about to turn, but a sudden realization hit him—

"Wait. What are you doing here in Miyagi?" Tsukishima pointed an accusatory finger at him. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. But, his confusion came and went as soon as he heard Kuroo's irritating laughter. His eyebrows twitched in annoyance. 

"Can't believe you just noticed that now, Tsukki," Kuroo said teasingly, clutching his abdomen after his marathon of laughter. With one last laugh, he sighed and smirked at the blonde. "I was just here visiting a relative of mine. I'll be here for the whole weekend."

 _I know I asked, but..._ "Okay. See you." Tsukishima bowed hurriedly, turning around to head back home. He could feel the back of his neck burning hot, his ears turning crimson at how " _lucky_ " he was to have seen him; in Miyagi, no less.

For some reason, Tsukishima felt overjoyed at the thought of Kuroo being in Miyagi. What are the odds? But, another part of Tsukishima damned the world for allowing this man to show up at the peak of his embarrassing infatuation. He felt like some high school girl in a shoujo romance manga, crossing paths with the male lead at a place where the girl felt impossible to see him at. Importantly, Tsukishima cursed _himself_ for even comparing himself to a shoujo manga. 

If he were more ambitious like the female lead, maybe he would've been spending even just a bit of his weekend with Kuroo; asking him to spend some time out with him, maybe even tour Miyagi with him. But, as much as he wants to, Tsukishima wouldn't allow himself to—it was too out of character of him to do so. No. Tsukishima wouldn't make the first move—his ego forbids him to. 

But, even as Tsukishima cursed the world for his "luck," the world decided to do him a favor. 

The same warmth he craved was back on his shoulder, pulling him from his reverie. Tsukishima gazed at the unusually perturbed captain, his lips gaping at how the captain didn't seem like his confident and carefree self. Tsukishima stumbled in place at the sudden contact from Kuroo, his eyes shone with impatience. In Kuroo's eyes, he looked annoyed because of his attempt to stop him from going wherever he was heading to. Tsukishima may give that look, but in reality, he was hoping that this might be a chance to spend even just a bit of his time with Kuroo. 

"Hey. It's getting late. Why don't I walk you"—Tsukishima's eyebrows lifted in anticipation and his shoulders rose with excitement—"since we're going the same way." Then, Tsukishima's shoulders slumped and the joyful glint in his eyes dulled to a bored brown. 

Kuroo was perceptive. He noticed the tiniest ways Tsukishima expressed himself—lifted shoulders, the minuscule lifting of his eyebrows, the way his eyes shone when Kuroo spoke; he saw it all. Kuroo found his reactions to the smallest of gestures endearing, cute even. With his hand still placed on Tsukishima's shoulders, he gave it an experimental squeeze, enjoying the way he tensed up. 

Tsukishima placed his hand on the captain's (inside, he was patting himself on the back; _how bold_ ) and pulled it off his person. "I appreciate the gesture, but no thanks. I'm in a hurry."

Kuroo perked up. " _Oya_? Well, let's get going, then." He slung his arm over Tsukishima's shoulders. "Lead the way, _Tsukki_." 

Tsukishima hated the way he said it with such a teasing undertone, but loathed himself for even feeling giddy at the simplest of things. _He just said my name, for god's sake_. 

  


* * *

  


"—and I even do anything to fix my hair—gel, hairspray, clips, you name it! I just don't understand. No matter what I just do, it stays like this," Kuroo said with a defeated sigh. 

Tsukishima was huffed akin to a laugh at his predicament, yet remained stoic as they continued their way to Tsukishima's home. On the inside, however, Tsukishima was shaking at the extended duration of his unexpected encounter. He wished for this to happen and he felt overjoyed, but he felt like he was just wasting the opportunity that was given to him. Kuroo was working his ass off at carrying the conversation while Tsukishima listened to his ridiculous stories with the rest of Nekoma. However, as he continued to listen, Kuroo didn't seem fazed by his seemingly uninterested front. He carried on talking whether he was replying or not.

"So, the cake. Is it your favorite?" Kuroo questioned, glancing at Tsukishima through the corner of his eyes. 

Tsukishima forgot that Kuroo's arm was still wrapped around his shoulders, jumping a bit when his fingers twitched at the cold, night air nipping at his skin. "Yes." _Fucking— He asked you a question and that's all you have to say?!_ Tsukishima yelled at himself for the dull reply.

"You don't seem like the type to have a sweet tooth," Kuroo teased, smirking at Tsukishima's slight pout. 

"I ate it as I was growing up, especially when I—" he cut himself off, stuttering over the last words before completely stopping himself from continuing.

Kuroo noticed the younger's reluctance to continue, and Tsukishima thanked the heavens for Kuroo detecting his hesitation. Tsukishima felt the burden of leaving the conversation on such a bitter note, and he took a deep breath before he finally decided to take matters into his own hands. In other words, its his turn to carry the conversation.

"So uh..." Tsukishima trailed off. _Fuck_. "Does your relative live in the same area?"

Kuroo hummed before answering, "No. They actually live back in Sendai." 

Tsukishima stopped to push himself away from Kuroo's grasp and gaped at the older male who was nonchalant about his disclosure. "But... that's not even anywhere near here! Why did you insist on walking me home?" Tsukishima was so close to pulling all the hair off his head. _What the fuck is wrong with him?!_

Kuroo shrugged. "Well, you seemed disappointed that we were going to split off a while ago, so I just wanted to, you know, spend a little more time with my _kouhai_." 

That damned smirk. Tsukishima continued to gape at him. He won't deny that he enjoyed the time they spent together, but the fact that he even went out of his * _whole_ way just to bring him home. What is he, his _boyfriend_? Tsukishima choked at the thought, pushing it to the back of his mind. There are more important things that needs to be dealt with.

"That doesn't mean that you have to go to opposite side of Miyagi just to bring me home," Tsukishima spat out. He just couldn't understand this man.

"Maybe so, but that's my choice, isn't it?" Kuroo smirked at him triumphantly, arms crossed over his chest, the rustling of plastic being the only sound that was heard throughout the empty street. 

"You—!" He wouldn't win no matter how hard he tried. "Fine. Do what you want."

"Thank you, _Tsukki_. You're ever so kind. Looking out for me," Kuroo snickered, Tsukishima scoffing.

They went back to their previous positions—Kuroo's arm swung over Tsukishima's shoulders. He acted like it was a normal thing to do, to go to the other side of Miyagi at night. The cake box in Tsukishima's hand felt heavy, the burden of having Kuroo all the way here bringing his spirits down. Kuroo noticed the dejected look Tsukishima gave the gravel, shaking him as he smiled reassuringly as if to say "it's fine." With that, Kuroo rambled on as if nothing happened, and Tsukishima listened on, taking note of certain interests that may be beneficial for him in the future. 

  


* * *

  


"Thank you." Tsukishima bowed, and Kuroo laughed at his formality, waving a dismissing hand in his direction.

Kuroo watched as Tsukishima unlocked the gate to his house and walking over the steps to the doorstep.

"Ah!" Kuroo exclaimed. Tsukishima turned to see Kuroo fussing around his pockets, pulling out a red-cased cellphone. "Your number, Tsukki."

Tsukishima swallowed his excitement down. Stepping down the steps to reach Kuroo's phone over the short gate. He inputted his number into his phone before passing it back to the owner. Kuroo stuffed it back into his pocket, tilting his head in a bow before stepping away from the gate.

"See you." Kuroo saluted before he went back the direction they came from.

Tsukishima waited for a few seconds before rushing into his house. He hurriedly placed the cake on the dinner table, skipping steps up the stairs to head to his room. He slammed the door shut, his neck up to his cheeks turning red. 

"I... That _really_ happened," he breathed out. 

He was sure it was a dream—meeting the male that lived in his head rent free, walking home with him, and now he has his number? What luck. Tsukishima, being the realist he is, realizes that there must be something wrong that's bound to happen. It's like he's used up all his luck in one day and he has to pay the consequences. But hopefully, Tsukishima wishes, his bad luck won't hit him too soon.

A chime came from his pocket. He took his phone out to take a sharp inhale of breath at the _Unknown Number_ displayed on his screen. He didn't need to check to know who the unknown number that sent him a message was. 

> **Unknown Number**
> 
> _I'm on my way home._  
>  _Good night, Tsukki~_

Attached to the message was a picture of Kuroo's eyes, his hair taking over most of the space in the picture, above his hair was a peace sign. Clearly, he could see the bus windows and cars behind his bedhead. 

Tsukishima faceplanted onto his bed cushions, hand tightly gripping the phone. He felt like he was burning, his cheeks feeling hot to the touch at each passing second. He flipped around, thumbs tapping at the phone keyboard. It was a cycle of typing a message out and deleting what he typed. He didn't want to sound too _out there_ nor does he want to seem too cold. In the end, he typed out a message, pressed _send_ , and dropped the phone beside him. He threw an arm over his eyes, defeatedly sighing at how he's acting.

This was exactly like a shoujo manga. _Fuck_.

  


> **From Tsukki (☆▽☆)**
> 
> _Get home safe._  
>  _Good night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for how long and rushed this 2nd chapter is. I tried hard since I didn't want to lose the motivation that I gathered from the last time I posted the 1st chapter. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite it being so long.


	3. Persistent Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima's head is filled with Kuroo and just him.
> 
> Head empty, just Kuroo.

Tsukishima was _smitten_. 

Every text, every photo, every call, every _video_ call—Kuroo just knows how to drive him insane. Replies were snarky, taking jabs at the male residing in Tokyo, but Tsukishima was shaking and smacking himself behind the screen. He's never felt like _this_ in his entire life. But, what exactly is "this" that Tsukishima is pertaining to?

The giddy feeling of receiving a text; the longing he felt every time they ended a call; the burn of his ears and neck whenever he receives a photo along with a message; the bashful glances he would take when he would hear Kuroo laughing on the other side of the screen. It was like everything with him made him experience his first _firsts_. 

_How much more firsts will I experience with him?_

Tsukishima, currently lying on his bed and holding the phone close to his chest, grunted in shock as he grabbed his pillow and harshly slapping it over his face. Muffled screams echoed throughout his room—maybe even to the staircase outside his room, but he's not bothered by the fact that his mother or brother could just enter his room to check on the unusual noises coming from him. With one last kick to the air, he removed his pillow to let him breathe, face red with heat and embarrassment. _The things he does to me_. 

A _ding_ rang from his phone. He scrambled off the bed to sit at his desk, legs bouncing in anticipation. He knows he shouldn't be _this_ excited over a text, but he just can't help it, with the way he's been deliberately flirting with him. Oh, Tsukishima can definitely tell. Kuroo wasn't being subtle, and maybe he wasn't trying to, but Tsukishima was determined not to fall for his charms or his frivolous words.

With a shaky finger, he opened the message. Immediately, the phone dropped from his hands, instead they took place on his face, feeling the heat that was emanating from his cheeks. On the screen was an image attachment of Kuroo taking a mirror selfie, but it was the type of image that Tsukishima has never gotten before—Kuroo shirtless as he sends a peace sign to the camera. Tsukishima wants to _kill_ this man and the audacity he had to send a photo as if it was normal to do so. _Maybe to someone they're interested in_.

His forehead connected to his desk with a harsh thud. The searing pain not enough to distract him from what now lives in his head rent free. He sat up straight, looking at the photo that was still displayed on his screen. He took a deep breath as his index and middle finger was planted onto the screen. His fingers separated from one another, zooming in to his torso, seeing the darker pixels that shapes his abs—

With another thud, Tsukishima was face-down onto his desk once again. Embarrassment bubbled inside him as he just realized what he did.

 _I hate him_. 

Yet the growing grin and reddened cheeks said otherwise. 

  


* * *

  


The walk to school was unbearable, even with music harshly blasting in his ears. His headphones were tilted to one side, an ear unoccupied to listen to Yamaguchi recalling what happened last practice with Kageyama and Hinata. He could care less, honestly, because the photo of Kuroo last night ate up all his thoughts. 

Head empty, just Kuroo.

He could hardly sleep last night. Not only was the photo the only thing his head could visualize, they were busy texting back to one another about anything that Kuroo could think of—food, school, studies, and even college. At the mention of college, Tsukishima's heart fell. He only knew about Kuroo because of Karasuno and Nekoma, and knowing that those joint practices they would have would no longer have him in the picture. Kuroo sensed the silence, but it felt uncharacteristically off. Kuroo didn't know why, but he knew something was bothering him. He didn't know what the problem is and reassuring him is his best bet.

"Hey. Whatever's bothering you, don't worry about it. I'm here for you, yeah?" Kuroo's gravelly voiced echoed from Tsukishima's phone speakers.

All he could reply was a breathy "Yeah" before he decided to call it a day. It would mostly be Kuroo ending the call once he realized he's been keeping Tsukishima up for too long, never the other way around. Once Kuroo's phone illuminated the end call screen, he debated sending a message to further console the obviously dispirited male.

> **From Kuroo**  
>  _Stop worrying. Whatever it is, it's all right, okay?  
>  Good night. Sleep well._

  


Tsukishima thumbed his phone in his pocket, recalling the worry-laced tone of Kuroo. To Tsukishima, as long as Kuroo doesn't know what he's brooding on, everything would be fine. He didn't want the captain to worry about him when he has so much things on his plate as a graduating senior. But, knowing that Kuroo even figured out he was worried over something despite not expressing anything about it, made him feel elated and for some reason, _understood_. And he didn't want to let that feeling go. 

"Tsukki, are you okay?" Yamaguchi asked. They were standing by the shoe lockers, Yamaguchi already wearing his indoor shoes. Tsukishima faced his own shoe locker, unaware that they have already reached school, head too busy with thoughts of Kuroo. 

"Yeah," Tsukishima whispered out, before taking his own indoor shoes.

He needed to focus.

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima didn't register what the teachers were discussing, but his hands moved on its own to take down notes. He could feel the worried glances of Yamaguchi from across the classroom. His worried gaze did not compare to the worried voice that echoes in Tsukishima's ears; he didn't know how or why, but Kuroo's voice soothed him to a calmer state. Tsukishima would feel surrounded by warmth just by being in his presence or by merely just knowing that he has his attention. 

Kuroo did not feel like a foreign entity in his life. He was immediately attracted to his being—his eyes that always held a mischievous glint, the smirk that no longer irritated him, his bedhead that he could easily spot in a crowd, and especially how he looked past Tsukishima and his sarcastic front. In Kuroo's words, it was just a defense mechanism that Tsukishima grew into, and that "he had no reason to feel the need to do the same to him." And exactly like he said, Tsukishima, for the first time in his life, was honest in what he wanted to say to him—all the anger, the joy, the sadness, the irritation—all of it was laid bare. 

Before Tsukishima knew it, classes were over for the day. Classes went by like a blur with him not remembering anything that happened. He was snapped out of his thoughts when a hand clapped itself onto his shoulder. The first thought that passed through his mind was how it did not hold the same warmth as Kuroo's. _Disappointing_. 

He turned around to see Yamaguchi peering at him curiously, hand still placed on his shoulder. Tsukishima packed his things, slung his bag over his shoulder, and stood up. The hand fell back to Yamaguchi's side, brushing past him to head home. 

"Wait, Tsukki! How about practice?" Yamaguchi called out. 

"I'm not feeling well. Tell the captain I'll be heading home." With that, he was out of the room, heading down to the first floor to retrieve his shoes. 

It was unexpected of him to skip practices, he knows, but he was not up to the noise and banter that echoed around the gym. He knows that once he hears another fight between Kageyama and Hinata, he wouldn't be able to hold back from possible insults that may fall from his lips. Also, he didn't want to deal with the concerned stares of his seniors and coach. 

He kicked a stray pebble on the sidewalk. His head was really up in the clouds ever since _he_ entered his life. It's not like Tsukishima is complaining about it; it was an oddly welcomed feeling that he has not yet embraced fully. _Not yet_ , he thought, _but soon_. 

He knows that Kuroo sensed his feelings just from the tiniest gestures, texts, and tone. He's just perceptive like that. However, Tsukishima can't even tell how Kuroo feels about him. He's afraid of reading too much into every little thing he did to only end up being mistaken. He didn't even want to know what he would do if that were the case. 

"Tsukki."

Tsukishima heard the call of his name loud and clear. He turned around to see Kuroo standing behind him, dressed in a shirt and joggers. Tsukishima's eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

"What are you doing in Miyagi? It's a weekday. Why aren't you in Tokyo?" The words tumbled out of Tsukishima's mouth without even thinking about it, as if it was instinct.

Kuroo laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "One question at a time, Tsukki." Tsukishima glared at him causing Kuroo to lift up his hands in surrender. "Okay, my bad."

Silence engulfed them. Distant chatter, cars and the subway were the only noises that could be heard as they stand unmoving. The silence was too much for Tsukishima.

"If you're not—"

"Why don't we go somewhere and chat?" Kuroo tilted his head, his stance much more relaxed.

Tsukishima felt his nape burn up. _This is my chance—_

"No."

Kuroo's lips moved to reply, but no sound came out. His eyes widened at the unexpected answer. His hands shot themselves out of his pockets, wildly gesturing in front of him. He's not surprised at Kuroo's reaction— _hell_ , even Tsukishima was shocked by his own answer. 

"O-okay. I mean, I won't force—"

"No! I—" Tsukishima bit his lip in exasperation, closing his eyes at his lack of judgement. He just couldn't believe himself. Again, the world has given him a chance to confront Kuroo and he just blew it. He let out a heavy sigh. He lifted his eyes to stare into Kuroo's own. 

"Are we going or not?"

Kuroo perked up— _did his hair also perk up?_ —and walked closer to the blonde. He gave him the smirk that Tsukishima hated yet found charming.

"Well, lead the way, Tsukki." Kuroo's hand placed itself on his chest, hand gesturing forward as he bowed.

"...what?" _This fucker—_ Tsukishima felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance, hands clenched into fists, ready to sock him right on his jaw.

"I'm not from here, so I think"—he patted Tsukishima's chest—"you would know better on where to go."

He's really testing Tsukishima's patience. He was definitely ready to strike him on his face right now. 

"Fine. You better keep up, _shorty_ ," Tsukishima spat out, turning around. With his long legs and long strides, he was already feet away from where he last stood.

"You—! Just because I'm lacking a few centimeters doesn't make me short!" 

Kuroo ran after him, chuckling to himself at Tsukishima's changed demeanor. Just like before, Kuroo's arm slung itself on Tsukishima's shoulder. This time, they basked in the comforting silence that engulfed them, listening to the sounds that resonated around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a filler chapter ??
> 
> Really rushed. I had to get this thought out before I lost it. I also felt like I just went in circles when writing this huhu. I'm sorry
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed.


	4. Acquired Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima just wants answers and Kuroo has them. But does he really want to hear the answers that he longs for if it's not what he wants to hear?

Tsukishima brought him where no one knows about, not even Yamaguchi. They turned a corner to face a long and wide alleyway that stretched meters. Restaurants were situated on both sides of the alley, some preparing for the customers once rush hour begins while some were brightly illuminating the path in front of their shop. Kuroo looked around in wonder, not expecting to see something like this out of nowhere in Miyagi. 

Tsukishima strode forward, Kuroo matching his pace beside him. Tsukishima tried to hide his trembling hand from Kuroo's body pressed to his side. He was nervous; he was bringing him over to a place that he held dear, to talk about whatever Kuroo wanted to talk to him about. He didn't want his comfort place to be shrouded in memories that would bring a sour taste to his mouth whenever he would enter the establishment. Moreover, he's nervous that what he might hear would be what breaks the last of his hopeful outlook on their growing relationship. Tsukishima opposes himself, saying how he'd feel relief over Kuroo's dismissal of him so that he can finally go back to how he was before he met him. But no.

Tsukishima is _afraid_. He doesn't know what would happen if ever Kuroo was just toying with him for his own entertainment. He doesn't know how he would go back to life before he met him if he was no longer in the picture. 

Tsukishima swallowed the lump in his throat as soon as they stopped at the white-painted door. The windows were lined with yellow and white checkered curtains, drawn open to show the few patrons sitting on their own tables. Cacti lined the windowsill, tiny posts dug into the soil with their names written in cursive. Tsukishima gripped the doorknob, pushing the door open to hear the welcoming chime that resounded throughout the quaint café. His legs brought him over to his usual table situated at the corner of the shop, cushioned chairs facing one another with a wooden coffee table in between. 

Kuroo plopped down with a huff, eyes wandering over the yellow-themed café. "Didn't expect you to know a place like this."

Tsukishima ignored his comment. "What do you want? I'll pay."

They sat stiffly. Their orders in front of them sat untouched. Tsukishima is dying to take a bite of that strawberry shortcake right now, but the choking anticipation on what Kuroo had to say pushed back his desire for the cake. His eyes focused on Kuroo's order—a foamy cappuccino that sat on top of a saucer, the heart designed on it mocking him.

Kuroo cleared his throat. Tsukishima's directed his gaze to Kuroo's unreadable ones. Tsukishima's eyes shone with animosity, not unusual of Tsukishima to express strong emotions, especially negative ones, but it was different, Kuroo noted. 

He hated it.

"So, _uh_ , how are you?" Kuroo rubbed his palms on his lap, hating the way the aura of the homey café became heavy to bare. 

"Why are you in Miyagi?" Tsukishima's sharp tone took Kuroo aback. He usually spoke softly or teasingly towards him; this was out of character of him. But, he can understand Tsukishima and his reasons for acting the way he is now. He admired the way he was honest with him, even in the subtlest of ways, and he believes he should do the same. 

"I was here because an aunt of mine was admitted to the hospital. My mother is too busy to visit, so I went in her place," Kuroo said solemnly. He reached for the teacup, taking sips as he watched Tsukishima slump in his seat. His hands were tightly clenched on top of his lap, eyes downcast.

The teacup landed with a clack on the saucer. "Hey, stop worrying, all right? She's fine, she's going to be discharged tomorrow," Kuroo reassured. 

He gathered his bearings, lifting his gaze to stare at Kuroo. "Is that it?"

"Hm, what else do you want to hear?" Kuroo crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back to comfortably sit on the cushioned seat. He may seem composed, but all he wanted to do was reach out and bring Tsukishima into his arms.

Tsukishima let out a mirthless laugh. "You're really asking me that right now? You're the one who suggested going somewhere to talk, so do it. Start talking. If you have nothing else important to say, I'm leaving."

Kuroo's tongue darted out to lick his lips teasingly. "Calm down, Tsukki. Firstly, where do you want me to start, hm? From the very start? Want me to explain in detail how _cute_ you were during training camp?" Kuroo let out a laugh at Tsukishima's reddening ears.

Tsukishima didn't enjoy the way he was toying with him. Kuroo had him in the palm of his hand, and he was merely running around in circles with no escape. He hated how he was so easy to read while he couldn't even understand Kuroo. He was unpredictable and he hated the power he held over him. Everything he did made Tsukishima fall deeper. But does Kuroo feel the same way? Does Kuroo also feel the way his heart would thump rapidly at the thought of him? Does he have persistent thoughts of him to the point that it was hard to function?

_Does he like me?_

Tsukishima's lips quivered, tiny whimpers left his lips. His eyes stung with unshed tears. He _hated_ how he's crying over him right now. He _loathed_ the way he becomes vulnerable in his presence. 

He _abhorred_ Kuroo's entire being. 

Kuroo's mouth gaped open. He's never seen Tsukishima act like this, nor would he even allow himself to act like this in front of anyone, all the more so in public. Kuroo rose up from his seat to comfort Tsukishima, but was pushed back as soon as he brushed past him to exit. Kuroo ignored the harsh gazes of the other patrons in the café. He ran a hand through his hair, cursing himself out for impulsive actions.

He knows Tsukishima wouldn't let any goodhearted teasing get to him. So why now? What did he do to make him act like so? 

Kuroo has a theory and he hopes he's right.

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima instinctively brought himself to the park he and his brother used to play at. Fortunately for him, no one was there to watch him bawl his eyes out over someone who didn't deserve it. The setting sun was casting golden hues over the playground and park structures. He trudged over to the swing, his figure too tall to comfortably sit on the seat, but he didn't care; he just needed a break from everything that's happened.

He didn't even know why he cried in the first place. He pushed his glasses up to wipe his tears with his sleeve. His whimpers were reduced to sniffles and broken hiccups. Tsukishima let out a grunt as he slapped his forehead. _What the fuck is wrong with me?!_

He didn't understand why his emotions took control of him. He didn't know if it was because he was overwhelmed by how he was so hooked on everything Kuroo did while he stayed unaffected, or because he wasn't being taken seriously. Maybe it was because the thought of Kuroo not being present in his life caused a feeling of deep anguish to stab at him. Tsukishima's chest clenched in pain. A shaky hand clenched at his chest, wishing for the ache to stop. 

"Ugh—I hate him. _Fuck_."

"Is that so?"

Tsukishima's gaze snapped up to Kuroo's form. He noticed the sweat that formed on his forehead, beads of sweat rolling down his neck and down his sweat-drenched shirt. His hands were positioned on his hips, heavy pants leaving his lips. Tsukishima didn't want to see him; didn't _need_ to see him, especially not now since he just ran out on him, and he looks like a fucking mess. 

" _Yes_. Now go away," Tsukishima growled out. 

Kuroo only let out a chuckle. Tsukishima snarled and stood to his full height, dropping his bag to the ground, "Yeah, keep fucking laughing. Laugh at the person you decided to toy around for your sick entertainment."

At that, Kuroo's deep chuckles came to a halt. His eyes turned cold, tongue poking his cheek. "You really think that?"

"Why else would you do whatever you're doing? Those texts, calls? What were they for if not just to make your life entertaining, huh?" Tsukishima spat out, his voice full of venom. But, Kuroo isn't fazed. He merely watched Tsukishima spouting his frustrations, at this point, not even caring who heard him as his voice increased at each point he bellowed. 

"Are you done?" Kuroo clicked clicked his tongue. "If you are, will you let me speak now?"

Tsukishima huffed. His hands were numb, his tights fists trembled from either side of him, palms stinging with pain from his fingernails digging into his palms. He knows what he'll hear will just confirm what he's believed, and with a mocking smile, hand opening to gesture for him to go ahead.

"So, I just toyed with you for fun, right? How I didn't mean everything, right? Okay." Kuroo nodded with hum. Tsukishima blinked at him; he didn't expect this behavior. "Did you even consider what I felt in all this, or did you just decide for yourself what everything I did meant?"

Tsukishima's mouth went dry. He gulped as he stared at Kuroo's hardened gaze. He trembled as dread settled within him, yet the anticipation was eating up him. _Just say it already_. 

"You know, I—"

"I like you."

Once again, Kuroo was taken aback, but this time, rosy cheeks and burning ears accompanied his gaping mouth. He couldn't function. _Did I just hear that correctly?_ He just couldn't believe his ears. Tsukishima—making the first move? _Fuck I gotta step up my game_. 

"You really just ruined the moment there. I had a whole speech ready and everything. I was going to confess my undying love for you, then we'd be—"

"I don't care. I like you." 

"Tsukki, now you're the one toying with me." Tsukishima opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off once Kuroo's hands formed into finger guns. "Toying with my heart."

Tsukishima's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Nevermind I take it back. I hate you."

"Now, now. You can't take that back. You even said it twice." Kuroo stepped closer to Tsukishima. As soon as they were face to face, he laid his hands on Tsukishima's shoulders. Tsukishima's bottom lip jutted out; he wasn't going to cry, but everything was just overwhelming for him. Too many things happened at once that he couldn't process anything. All he knows is that he confessed and—

 _He confessed_.

Kuroo patted Tsukishima's shoulders endearingly, pulling him closer to his body. His hand cradled the back of Tsukishima's head to guide him to lay his forehead on his shoulder. Tsukishima didn't resist and relaxed in his hold. 

"It's okay. Cry it out," Kuroo reassured, his hand playing with the short strands of Tsukishima's head. 

Tsukishima sighed out in relief. "I'm not going to cry. I'm just... tired," he mumbled out. Kuroo hummed in response, continuing his relaxing ministrations. 

"You haven't said it back."

"Hm?" Kuroo rested his head on top of Tsukishima's. The affectionate gesture was foreign to Tsukishima, but wholly welcomed. 

"You haven't said it back," He murmured.

"Don't worry. I'll say it as much as I can." Kuroo's hands moved from their spot to Tsukishima's waist and pulled him closer to his body, squeezing tightly as if he would disappear from his grasp.

"I like you, I like you, I like you, I like—"

"Enough already, I get it!" Tsukishima pushed against Kuroo's chest, but his attempts were futile as each push he did led to strengthening his grip around him. Tsukishima's forehead met Kuroo's shoulder's with a sigh. He closed his eyes, body relaxing in Kuroo's warm embrace. This was the warmth that Tsukishima craved and he didn't want it to ever forget the feeling of it, especially since Kuroo won't let that happen as long as he's with him.

  


"Do you want to hear my speech and my undying love for you?"

"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this rushed? Definitely  
> Do I know where I'm going with this? Of course not.
> 
> I'm sorry


	5. Ardent Gratitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait
> 
> was very busy with school and kinda got writer's block for a long time, but thank you for waiting

That day, Kuroo walked Tsukishima home. Kuroo's arm was slung over Tsukishima's shoulders as he leaned closer to Kuroo's body to warm himself up in the cold chill of the night. The heat on Tsukishima's face never left ever since their encounter in the park. He was exhilarated—this feeling was incomparable to anything he's ever felt or ever will feel. He's dreamed of having Kuroo by his side, not just as a mentor, as Kuroo called himself, but as someone who'd be with him indefinitely. He didn't expect it to happen so suddenly. He felt a chill run down his spine, and he knows it is not because of the cold. 

Everything happened so fast that Tsukishima thinks everything will be ripped away from him in just a blink.

Fear coursed through Tsukishima. _Please._

Tsukishima's shoulders shook for the fear that all _this_ would fall out of his grasp. Kuroo glanced at the blonde beside him, the arm on his shoulder slid down to grasp Tsukishima's arm, the other hand doing the same to the other. His hands then rapidly moved up and down Tsukishima's arms, trying to warm him up with just his hands. Tsukishima shoulders slumped in amusement, the shaking in his shoulders dying down with the effort of Kuroo's warm hands.

"I noticed you were shaking. It is pretty cold right now," Kuroo said as he continued to rub Tsukishima's arms, the movement becoming sloppy due to exhaustion and the pain in his arms.

"I wasn't cold, you know." Tsukishima snickered, shaking his head in disbelief. He glanced over to Kuroo, noticing how his body shivered in the cold. "Are you sure _you're_ not the one cold?" They both stopped their strides midway, to stare at one another like it was a competition on who would back down first.

Kuroo scoffed. He stiffened his body to hide the shivers that racked his body, his face contorting into one similar to a constipated man. Tsukishima let out a laugh that shocked Kuroo, the feeling of the cold long gone. Kuroo blinked at his unusual behavior, but smirked at how he was letting himself be more free rather than holding himself back. Tsukishima covered his mouth and turned around to hide his red cheeks, shocked that a laugh that he's never let out in public came freely tumbling out of his mouth without a second thought. His ears and nape burned despite the cold breeze that blew by them and Tsukishima wanted to just run back home with how embarrassed he feels right now.

Kuroo's laughter echoed throughout the empty street. It was a melody that Tsukishima knows he won't ever forget. To him, it was better than whatever he's heard before—nothing can compare to how Kuroo's laughter made him feel. 

He wanted to hear it again. And again. 

Tsukishima faced Kuroo once again, eyes trained on his exuberant figure, his laughter never ending. His eyes observed Kuroo—the way his shoulders shook as he laughed, the eyes that looked at him with fondness, the way his body exuded warmth that Tsukishima always sought out for, his arms so secure that he never wanted to leave. He was a dream personified and he never wanted to wake up if he won't be there every time he opened his eyes.

Kuroo wiped the tears away from the corner of his eyes, laughter died down on his lips before heaving a deep breath. The unusual silence of Tsukishima urged Kuroo to stare at his partner. His breath was caught in his throat. Right now, all he could see was Tsukishima; the way his eyes shone more than before, how he looked at Kuroo as if all the stars were in his eyes, the way his hands always itched to touch a part of him—he loved all of it and he didn't want to forget the feeling of it.

"You're pretty," Tsukishima blurted out. Kuroo was shocked. Seeing how Tsukishima was still fine after he said something "embarrassing" (as he would often call it whenever Kuroo complimented him), he's probably gotten used to Kuroo's antics already and it's rubbed off on him. The thought made Kuroo soft, but the fact that he didn't hesitate to say it shocked Kuroo. _How much has he changed in just a short amount of time?_

"I know I am, but I think that your beauty is incomparable to mine." Tsukishima's nose scrunched in disgust (he says) but is flattered nonetheless. The red that blossomed on his cheeks was enough incentive for Kuroo to keep up with his teasing. "Actually, you're much more beautiful than anyone. No one can compare to you."

" _Tch_. Shut up, will you." Tsukishima's gaze wondered down to the pavement, muttering curses under his breath.

Kuroo stepped forward until they were centimeters apart. Tsukishima could feel Kuroo's breath fanning his cheeks, and he didn't want to look up, fearing the way Kuroo would continue to tease him up close. Importantly, he didn't want him to see the way his cheeks were red, despite probably seeing it before, but it's different up close when he has no escape. 

"Look at me."

Tsukishima shook his head. The way Kuroo's voiced deepened yet had that endearing tone had him feeling some type of way, and he just wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Kuroo truly makes him feel things he's never felt. A hand made its way to Tsukishima's cheek, thumb caressing his cheek delicately. Hesitantly, Tsukishima's head tilted upwards to meet Kuroo's eyes. He pursed his lips in anticipation.

"Thank you," Kuroo whispered as his thumb continued to rub Tsukishima's cheek in mindless patterns. 

"For what? I don't remember doing anything special for you to thank me for." 

"Maybe not for you, but for me, it was something that I know I'll treasure. So, thank you."

He leaned closer to Tsukishima, lips brushing his forehead before placing a lingering kiss.

"Thank you for opening up to me."

  


  


"Aren't you supposed to bring me home?" Tsukishima's monotonous voice rang out after Kuroo stepped back from Tsukishima.

"Huh! Oh yeah. Kinda got sidetracked there, huh," Kuroo laughed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, let's get you home. It's getting late."

Throwing his arm back over Tsukishima's shoulders, they continued to walk in the direction of Tsukishima's house. They basked in the silence, enjoying the natural sounds that resonated around them. Tsukishima's fears were not quelled, however, as his thoughts wandered back to the fear of losing everything that he currently has, especially Kuroo. With the way things are going, hopefully his fears never come to life.

_I wouldn't know what I would do if it does_.

  


"We're here."

Tsukishima bowed in gratitude, muttering a "Thanks" as they stood outside the house gate. Kuroo patted his head before leaving a kiss on his forehead. 

"I'll be going back to Tokyo tomorrow." Kuroo sighed, not wanting the little coincidental rendezvous to end. "You should transfer to Tokyo so we won't have any problem," he joked.

"Kuroo-san, thank you."

"Hm? I told you, you don't have to thank me for walking you home. It's the least I could do. Also, stop being so formal with me." Kuroo pouted.

"No, not for that." He shook his head, a chuckle leaving his lips.

Tsukishima smiled.

  


  


"Thank you for being in my life, Tetsurou."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you might be able to tell i'm rushing. honestly, idk where im going with this, but i just want to finish this because i want to start on this SakuAtsu Office AU fic that i've been thinking of since last year


	6. Striking Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima just hopes nothing bad happens once they know of his relationship with the captain of their school rival. Who knows how they'd react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit [01.28.21]  
> i cant stop laughing at the amount of times ive said "life" in one go. also fixed the kaomoji that becomes boxes on mobile

Tsukishima's life was a cycle; morning routine, school, volleyball practice, homework, and sleep. He's never strayed from the repetitive pattern of life and always found his way back if an obstacle threatened to ruin the system that he's followed. Life was so simple and mundane, but it was the lack of inconvenience that spurred him to continue his monotonous way of life. However, the pattern he's followed everyday was thrown off rhythm once Kuroo entered his life. The texts and calls that came from early evening until the break of dawn kept him up all night until he lacked sleep for that day's practice and classes. Tsukishima thought that he was hiding how sleep-deprived he's been for the past week, but the dark circles and sluggish movements piqued the curiosity of the volleyball club members (mostly the third years and Yamaguchi), notably because of the uncommon demeanor of their usually stoic middle blocker. The way he carried himself was definitely different, noted by Sugawara and Daichi. Hopefully, the second-years don't catch wind of this or who knows what hell would be unleashed.

Yamaguchi, whose been with Tsukishima for as long as he can remember, watched Tsukishima closely. Every action was not unnoticed by Yamaguchi, immediately watching his friend through the corner of his eye. Yamaguchi chewed on his food, observing Tsukishima who was busy typing on his phone. He glanced up to Tsukishima's face, almost choking as he noticed the tiny smile that slowly formed on his lips as well as the way his eyes twinkled and Yamaguchi knows its not because of the sunlight that casted a golden glow on his figure. 

He pouted his lips before clearing his throat, catching the attention of Tsukishima, and as soon as his eyes focused on Yamaguchi, the smile and twinkle in his eyes were gone as if it were never there. Yamaguchi put down his chopsticks, eyes quickly glancing down to Tsukishima's phone and back to him, "So, what's keeping you busy? You haven't touched your food at all."

Tsukishima slipped the phone back under his desk and grabbed his chopsticks to shove a piece of egg roll into his mouth. "You should know that being too curious is a bad thing."

"Did you know that phones shouldn't be used while eating?" Yamaguchi quickly remarked with a mischievous grin.

Tsukishima's eyes narrowed before he shrugged his shoulders and scanned the food in his bento. "I would've told you, but you're _too_ close to the simpleton in the other class. _Oh well_. Seems like you just would have to find out by yourself. That is, _if_ you can even figure it out," Tsukishima mocked with a laugh as he ate another egg roll.

Yamaguchi's hands slammed on the desk which startled the people in class, shocked to see the sweet boy glaring at Tsukishima who was still eating nonchalantly. An amused chuckle left Tsukishima's lips as he observed the fuming boy in front of him. Yamaguchi pouted even more, lips quivering in determination. "I will find out! Watch me!"

"Good luck."

  


* * *

  


Volleyball practice was suffocating for Tsukishima. Everyone's gaze was on him; left and right, all he could hear were whispers. He could tell this was all Yamaguchi's doing with the way he's been walking around the gym just to interact with _everyone_ about something, which Tsukishima could easily guess what. His hands clenched by his sides, the volleyball that he had to retrieve forgotten on the gym floor. _Damn it_. He heaved a deep breath to regain composure and to keep his thinning rope of patience intact. 

He bent forward to pick up the volleyball only to feel a heavy hand land a slap on his back. He stood back up to fully face the grinning second-years. He stared at them from the tip of his nose, but Tanaka only laughed at his attempt of intimidating them; they both know it won't work on Tanaka and Nishinoya.

"I hear you've been _preoccupied_ with your phone lately, huh, Tsukishima." Tanaka elbowed the shorter male beside him who did the same.

"Oh! Must be chatting with a _special someone_ , you know!" Nishinoya hollered with a teasing grin.

Tanaka and Nishinoya's raucous laughter echoed in the gym yet no one paid attention to the usual antics of the duo. They jogged back to Hinata who was whispering to Yamaguchi with an eye trained on Tsukishima's figure. They formed a circle with occasional glances aimed at Tsukishima who has not moved an inch since. Sugawara, who suddenly appeared beside Tsukishima, pulled him down to his height with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. 

"Don't pay them any attention, Tsukishima. They're just a curious bunch and it's best to just let their curiosity on you die down on its own." Sugawara walked back to the benches, dragging Tsukishima along with him. "Anyway, what are they so curious about, hm?" 

Tsukishima, finally out of Sugawara's grasp, shrugged. "Something."

Tsukishima's lack of snark definitely was something to be curious about, but then again, it wasn't something that they should be poking their noses into especially if Tsukishima hasn't opened up to them about anything. Yet. All Sugawara could do was swat away the bothersome members from disturbing Tsukishima even more. But, Sugawara couldn't specifically describe it but—

"Tsukishima, you're glowing."

All heads turned to them, eyes wide and ears perked to catch every word that would leave Tsukishima's lips. Tsukishima was fine with all the whispering and not-so-subtle glances in his direction, but it was definitely different when all eyes were on him. The silence echoed loudly in the gym, which perturbed Tsukishima.

"You're seeing things."

"No, I'm pretty sure you're glowing. I'm blinded!" Sugawara brought a hand to shield his eyes from Tsukishima, taking steps back as he groaned.

"All right, that's enough. Get back to practice or you'll be running laps." Daichi clapped his hands before dragging Sugawara away from the first-year.

Tsukishima now only respects Daichi and Asahi; the rest are only irritants in his life.

  


* * *

  


That night, Yamaguchi was busy texting Hinata. His homework lied untouched on his desk, fingers busy typing on his phone. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. He couldn't get an answer at all; no matter how many times he's racked his brain for an answer, it would all be squashed because of how unlike Tsukishima it would be. At this point, _it would be better to just give up_ , Yamaguchi thinks. Tsukishima would tell him when he wants to. It's not his business to interfere in Tsukishima's (or anyone's, for that matter) life unless he clearly wants him to know.

With a deep sigh, he texts Hinata an "oh well. It's not my business," and a good night before placing his phone face down on his desk. He reached for his pen until a chime from his phone caught his attention. He checked the phone screen only to rush out of his chair and down the stairs. He haphazardly put on his shoes, and with a swing of the front door, he comes face to face with Tsukishima.

"Tsukki!"

Yamaguchi closed the door behind him. It was obvious that he was excited; the constant bouncing, his eyes wide and expecting. Moreover, the text of telling Yamaguchi what's got him so preoccupied on something that Yamaguchi's been wanting to know is enough to keep him on the edge of his seat. 

"Yeah, yeah. Calm down, I'm telling you anyway. You going around and making a big deal of it today was annoying." Tsukishima was nervous. Who wouldn't be? Just the thought of breaking the news to Yamaguchi was enough to get his palms sweating. He knows Yamaguchi would be delighted no matter what, but it's the thought that he's _sort of_ making his relationship with the Nekoma captain more than official. _Oh shit!_ He didn't even know if Kuroo told anyone of their relationship, and he didn't ask him either. 

"On second thought, never mind." Tsukishima turned around to head back home, but the grip and tug on his arm prevented him from taking a step forward.

"Hey, that's unfair! You can't just come here to tell me and not tell me, Tsukki." 

_It is unfair_. No one was in control of the relationship, so what's wrong with telling a close friend about it? If Kuroo had a problem with it, he can go _suck a dick_. 

Tsukishima faced Yamaguchi's worried gaze once more, but more determined. "I'm dating Kuroo."

The grip on his arm loosened until it was completely gone. Yamaguchi tilted his head to the side. "Nekoma's captain? Wait—Nekoma's captain?! Kuroo-san?!"

Tsukishima hid his face behind his sweater sleeve. "Stop saying it so loud. It's not a big deal."

"Nonononono. It _is_ a big deal! You're dating an opponent. Do you know what this means?!"

Tsukishima would've just left if it was someone else, but this is Yamaguchi; he has to humor him at least just a little bit. He sighed, "No. Tell me, what does it mean?"

"Romantic rivalry!" Yamaguchi's eyes sparkled. His hands clenched onto Tsukishima's sweater, shaking him back and forth. "Imagine, playing against Nekoma and then romantic stand-offs and then— _oh_ the tension!"

No. Tsukishima didn't need to humor him anymore. "Okay. Enough. Stop. I'm leaving before I regret ever telling you." He shook his head before pointing a finger in his direction, a threatening smile making Yamaguchi tremble, "This stays between us. Once others hear of it, then I hope you enjoy being tortured for the rest of the school year."

"Yes, Tsukki! My mouth is sealed!" Yamaguchi bid him a farewell, closing the door behind him to shake his fists in excitement in the _genkan_. This was definitely something that could bring color to his life, particularly Tsukishima's life which consisted of just volleyball and school. 

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima texted Kuroo that night to let him know that he's told one person of their relationship. He didn't care what Kuroo thought, he'd defend his decision if ever he didn't agree on what he did, but he still found it best to let his partner know what happened. As soon as the text sent, he got one in reply. Luckily, Kuroo didn't seem like he disagreed with what Tsukishima did, but his reply _did_ get him to grit his teeth in annoyance. _Why didn't I see this coming_?

> **Kuroo**  
>  ohohoho~ so we're that kind of official, I see? (W ͜ʖ ͡°)  
>  i've told kenma as well, so it's just a matter of time before chibi-chan knows  
>  they've been awfully close you know. texting and all  
>  but the more the merrier ( ˘ ³˘)♥  
> 

  


Tsukishima blinked at his messages. _No way._

  


> **my sweetie baby bird (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)**  
>  That's not how you use the term!  
>  What do you mean, the more the merrier? This isn't some party.  
>  Also, I'm fine with anyone else knowing except for those two.  
> 

  


> **Kuroo**  
>  it's nothing to worry about. they're harmless~  
>  also, romantic rivalry, they say. (☆´3｀)  
>  can't wait to see you on court, sweetie~  
>  i'll be waiting for you to beat my ass or the other way around, if you're into that  
>  good night （*＾3＾）/～♡  
> 

  


_Great. The idiot knows, just how long will it take for the others to know as well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> definitely lied when i said 5 chapters only. i'll try to end this in 8 or 9 chapters because i dont want to drag it out too much, especially with the way things are going (and how im going because its going nowhere)
> 
> also im hyping myself up for that sakuatsu fic. im ready for it


	7. Endless Turmoil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima's worries were finally exposed to Kuroo, but at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely the longest chapter I wrote with 2.6k words. Took me a while to write as well because I didn't know how it should go.
> 
> Not proofread.

"You're what?!"

Tsukishima didn't expect the news to travel _that_ fast; but then again, it is Hinata he's dealing with. Instead of starting the day with volleyball practice, it has now become story time. The members surrounded Tsukishima and Yamaguchi; Tsukishima had an ominous aura that exuded from him, eyes piercing through the members, meanwhile Yamaguchi was overly enthusiastic on his behalf, eyes sparkling and excitedly talking to the others. Tsukishima isn't complaining since Yamaguchi is distracting the others as the second-year duo and the captain burned holes through him. 

"Yeah, Kenma told me!" 

"Tsukki told me!"

They gushed to one another, sharing what they know (which wasn't a lot since they kept repeating how the other told them about it). The rest of the volleyball club members went back to practice, setting up the net and rolling out the cart. He's thankful to them for the sense of normality, but he'd still have to face the seething trio and explain his situation to them. Still, he doesn't understand why he has to if it doesn't hinder them from playing whatsoever.

He begrudgingly trudged over to their direction on one corner of the gym, away from any eavesdropping teens. He stood in front of Daichi, Tanaka, and Nishinoya with a tilt of his head. Tanaka and Nishinoya tapped their foot angrily on the floor, arms crossed over their chests as they huffed and puffed with their chins jutted out.

"What are you, gangsters?" Tsukishima sighed out. The day barely started and he's already tired. 

" _Tch_! You—!" Tanaka pointed an accusatory finger at Tsukishima, hands shaking due to the unreleased anger that he's been bottling up ever since he knew, which was a few minutes ago. "I have no words to say, so go on, Daichi! Tell him!"

Daichi shook his head before patting Tsukishima's shoulders. "I—"

"You're in cahoots with the opponent!" Nishinoya blurted, hands ruffling his hair in annoyance. 

"Will you let me continue?" Tanaka and Nishinoya tensed at the tone of Daichi, laced with an underlying threat if they dared to cut him off once more. They nodded their heads, body rigid and arms stiff on their sides. "As I was saying, we all know you're capable of making your own decisions. Plus, volleyball and your personal life are two separate things and you can keep personal feelings out of a game. But, once they know our strategies, you know what's going to happen."

"You have nothing to worry about. I have no intention of losing nor revealing any strategy." Tsukishima dipped his head in a bow.

"Spoken like a true _senpai_!" Tanaka and Nishinoya clapped their hands and patted Daichi's shoulders.

"Which is why you should all go back to practice or you two are cleaning up the gym." 

They jogged back to the center of the gym to start their training. Tsukishima's grateful that it didn't go south as he expected it to (especially because of the second-year duo) and he just hopes that it won't be treated as a big deal during training or any other volleyball related event. He felt a poke on his back, forcing him to take a peek over his shoulder to spot Sugawara giving him a smile. He spun on the heels of his feet, giving Sugawara a lazy head bow.

"How are you, Tsukishima?" He gave a nod in reply. "I'm happy for you, you know! Glad you found someone." Sugawara beamed brightly until it turned into one of melancholy. Tsukishima opened his mouth to ask the sudden change in attitude, but Sugawara gazed at him dismally. 

"I hope you realize that he's a third year and he's graduating soon. You know that, right?"

Of course Tsukishima knows. That's all he's been thinking about ever since the start of their relationship. He was a first year, still having years before him before he could graduate; on the other hand, it was Kuroo's last year in high school and he was busy as ever because of his demanding position as both a senior and captain. What more with their long distance relationship with barely any opportunity to meet one another either in Miyagi or Tokyo with both of their busy schedules. Tsukishima is willing to travel to Tokyo whenever he could just to visit Kuroo for a while, but he didn't want to be a bother to Kuroo who probably had a lot on his plate already. All they could do for now are daily texts and calls. It scared Tsukshima that they'd be unintentionally falling out of the relationship because of the limited physical contact they had with one another, but he trusted Kuroo.

He wouldn't give up that easily.

"Yeah, I know."

  


* * *

  


" _Something's bothering you, I can see it even if I'm not there_."

Tsukishima peered over to his phone that was leaning on the wall to have the phone camera properly face him. On the screen is Kuroo's face staring into his figure that was projected onto his own phone screen. Through the camera, Tsukishima could see the stacks of books, notebooks, and papers that littered Kuroo's desk. He could see the dark circles under Kuroo's eyes; the way he's been combing his hair back and rubbing his face before he would scratch out whatever was written on the paper.

"It was just the members a while ago making a big deal out of our relationship." Tsukishima flipped to the next page of his notebook, writing down notes from his book. He peered up again to see Kuroo distracted. He was scribbling on his notebook; he probably didn't even hear what he said.

"How about you?" Tsukishima asked. Kuroo peeked up to shoot a smile at Tsukishima. He placed his pen down to rest his chin on his palm. 

" _Curious, hm? Well, just university things. Boring things. They put too much pressure on the seniors just because we're graduating_."

"It's exactly because you're graduating that they're putting pressure on you." Tsukishima huffed at Kuroo. He continued writing notes and highlighting texts in his book. He couldn't look at Kuroo. The talk of graduation brings suppressed feelings of pain and anxiety that he's been trying to push down be the forefront of his worries. 

Kuroo hummed in response as his focus returned to the homework that was sprawled in front of him. Kuroo always told him that talking with Tsukishima or merely just being on the line was always a form of relaxation and a way for him to destress. But currently, talking to Tsukishima seemed to cause him to stress even more since he'd have to distribute his focus on his studies and Tsukishima, maybe even on other thoughts that are occupying his mind. 

Tsukishima stared at Kuroo's frustrated features. A hand covered Kuroo's mouth, muffled murmurs sounding like unidentifiable whispers to Tsukishima on the other side of the line. 

"I'll hang up now."

Kuroo's eyes snapped up, hand leaving his face to scratch at his head. " _Are you sure? It's still pretty early_."

"Yes, I'm actually done for the night." Tsukishima closed his notebooks and book closed, returning his writing materials back in his pencil case. "Good night, Kuroo."

" _Good night, Kei_."

With a final wave and smile from Kuroo, Tsukishima ended the call. He sighed deeply. His head hung from his chair to stare at the ceiling. They both had days that took a toll on them with how busy school and extracurriculars could get, but that never placed an awkward tension between Tsukishima and Kuroo. They'd talk in between doing school work to release some stress and take breaks in between to share stories from that day (which was mostly Kuroo who did the talking, not that he minded), and it continued until early morning until one of them fell asleep. Usually, it would be Tsukishima falling asleep first with Kuroo staying on the line to watch him sleep, only waking up to the duration of their call displayed on his screen. 

Tsukishima did not want to blame the circumstances that they're placed in, but he couldn't help but think that _maybe_ their relationship started at the wrong time. Would it have been better at a later date, years after when they've established themselves, or is sooner better than later? He couldn't stop the bleak thoughts that shrouded the carefree memories that he's created with Kuroo. He lets out a groan of frustration, deciding to throw himself onto his bed, burying his face into the pillow to muffle another groan. 

He knows he shouldn't be pessimistic; it's just been a while since the start of their relationship and he doesn't see why he should let provoking thoughts continue to perturb him and his relationship. He knows that Kuroo deserves to know what's been disturbing him, but with how busy and stressed he's been recently, it's best not to add more problems on his plate. 

Tsukishima would tell him when the proper time comes.

  


* * *

  


"Something's bothering you, I can see it. You can't hide it from me."

Yamaguchi sat on top of Tsukishima's desk during their lunch break. Tsukishima continued to read through his notes as if Yamaguchi wasn't there prying into his private life. Yamaguchi worded it vaguely, but he knows that he's asking about his relationship with the Nekoma captain. After his relationship was exposed to the volleyball club, Yamaguchi and the rest of the first years (except for Kageyama) and the irritating second-year duo called themselves "love gurus," which they called themselves in pride. They would use any opportunity with Tsukishima to mention it at least once a day. 

"There's nothing wrong," Tsukishima sighed out. Their concern for him and his relationship (mostly his relationship) was appreciated, but continuously meddling in his affairs became exasperating when they would ask him at the wrong time—just like right now. 

"Are you sure? You haven't been yourself at all today."

"I said, _I'm fine_ ," Tsukishima snapped at Yamaguchi, finally looking up from his notes to send a glare towards the male who was shocked at his sudden change in demeanor. In his whole life, Tsukishima never snapped nor gotten angry at him. There was a fine line between how much Yamaguchi could inquire about Tsukishima's private life, but he's never went past that line since he knew his limits. Yamaguchi knows he shouldn't take it seriously since he's aware that he didn't mean to snap at him, _probably because he's so on edge recently_. 

"I understand, Tsukki. But you know that I'm always here for you, right?" Yamaguchi hopped off the table. He didn't wait for Tsukishima's response and walked off to walk back to his desk and prepare for the next subject.

Tsukishima's focus shifted back to his notes. "Yeah," he muttered to himself. Yamaguchi glanced in Tsukishima's direction, pouting at his gloomy figure. He wants to help, but right now, it's better if he didn't force the blonde to forcefully share his worries if he didn't want him to know in the first place. He'll wait. Tsukishima would tell him when he's ready.

  


* * *

  


" _You're not telling me something. Again, I know something's bothering you and it's not good if you keep it to yourself_."

Tsukishima clenched the pen in his grasp. "It's nothing," he hissed. He hopes Kuroo didn't hear the malice in his tone.

Kuroo's eyebrows scrunched together in both worry and indignation. " _What's up with you? You haven't been yourself recently. It's better if you just tell me. We don't have to solve it and letting it out might help_."

"I said there's nothing wrong. Just focus on what you need to." Tsukishima no longer wrote notes onto his notebook, instead he harshly dragged the pen on his notebook, creating random swirls and lines that left indents on the pages after it. 

" _Kei, what the fuck! Just fucking tell me what your problem is, it's starting to get annoying_." Kuroo's never yelled. They've experienced disagreements, but never to the degree that they would have to raise their voice. _There's a first for everything_ , Tsukishima thought with contempt. He glared at Kuroo's figure displayed on his screen. The black circles under his eyes more prominent, his skin lost its healthy glow and had instead turned pallid that even he could notice in the dim lighting of his room—he's definitely overworking himself without any concern for his health. 

" _You_ , you're my problem! I'm always— _always_ unnerved because of... _everything_!" Tsukishima huffed, his arms wildly flailing around to gesture to him and Kuroo— _everything_. "I'm in high school, you're finishing high school and about to graduate—we're both busy. I'm in Miyagi, you're in Tokyo. We barely— _no_ , we don't see each other at all other than these calls that we always have. Aren't you _tired_?"

Kuroo blinked at him. Tsukishima was always calm, never panicked. Every word that escaped his mouth was rushed and inarticulate, different from how he usually was. " _'Tired'? Tell me, Kei, why would I be tired of our relationship?_ "

"I-I... I don't know," Tsukishima mumbled. He slammed his forehead on his desk. "You're graduating, you'll be busier than ever while we're still in different areas."

" _Kei, how about you, are you tired_?"

Tsukishima sat up from his position to stare at Kuroo in bewilderment. "Of course not! Why—"

" _Then_ why?" Kuroo's tone did not hold the same warmth, instead it was cold and piercing. 

_I'm scared_.

Tsukishima stuttered. He didn't have an answer. Why would he? He's only assumed the worst of the situation on his perspective. He's never thought of Kuroo's view of things. He's always thought that Kuroo had it harder with how much pressure is placed upon him as both a captain and senior. He overestimated the situation—was he just being inconsiderate of Kuroo this whole time?

Finally, Kuroo let out a sigh. " _I think we both need time to ourselves for a while. Just like you said, we're busy. Maybe it will help us to focus on what we need to_."

Tsukishima didn't want that. He wanted to be with Kuroo despite the problems they encounter, but maybe he was right—they both need time to themselves. 

He hung his head and slumped his shoulders, countenance weary and apathetic. "Maybe. Yeah," he whispered out. Kuroo nodded, expression stoic. He wanted to reach out and bring Tsukishima in his embrace, to caress his back and assure him that they'd be all right. He expected Tsukishima to put more of a fight against Kuroo's suggestion, but to accept it with no questions asked? This wasn't the Tsukishima he knew. 

" _Good night, Tsukishima_."

With that, the call ended. Tsukishima's phone displayed his lock screen before ultimately turning black. 

That night, and maybe even the first time in his life, Tsukishima freely sobbed into his arms, overwhelmed with the amount of emotions he was feeling all at once—hurt, guilt, _regret_. 

  


_There's definitely a first for everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am kinda disappointed in this chapter. For how many chapters, baby Kei was just worried and then suddenly an argument ensues between them? I know I wasn't able to establish any issue that could properly explain the bs that Kei said here. It feels rushed too huhu :((
> 
> I apologize for that.


	8. Endearing Episodes (7.5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set between chapters 5 to 7. 
> 
> Just random events during their relationship. Also just a filler chapter
> 
> (story time in end notes

Kuroo made kissy faces at Tsukishima who was busy writing down notes on his notebook.

"Stop that. It's distracting."

"Meeeehhhh," he moaned. He rested his cheek on his open palm as he continued to make kissy faces at him.

"I said, stop. Go finish your work or go to sleep." Tsukishima continued to write on his notebook, however, rather than the quick strokes of his pen, the movement of his hands slowed down. He didn't admit it, but he enjoyed the attention that Kuroo gave him and the affection he sent his way in spite of only seeing each other through a phone screen. 

"Meeeeehh. I like this much better." 

"Stop that, you sound like a goat."

"What's wrong with that, huh? Goats are cute." At this, he sat up straight with a scowl on his face. 

"I agree. You are cute."

Kuroo blinked at Tsukishima. Did he really hear that right? His cheeks burned and the smirk on Tsukishima's face was not helping. Who knew that Tsukishima had it in him? But, Kuroo didn't expect that to come out of his mouth without any hint of embarrassment nor bashfulness. With a pout, Kuroo covered his face with his hands, his head tilting back to let out a whine.

"You can't do this to me, Kei!"

Tsukishima's laughter was heard through his earphones, worsening the situation that Kuroo was in right now. But he'd let it go, for now, because Tsukishima's laughter was a melody that he didn't want to miss.

  


* * *

  


"Kei."

"What."

"Guess what."

"What."

"No, you're supposed to guess!" Kuroo whined. Tsukishima looked up from the book he was reading to stare impassively at the pouting male on his screen.

He sighed before he decided to humor him. "You got a new game...?"

"Not even close." Kuroo stood his phone against the wall and walked back until his whole body was seen on camera. "I learned how to throw it back."

"To— _what_?" Tsukishima was seriously confused. _What the fuck is that?_ He's heard it before from Yachi and Hinata, sometimes even Yamaguchi, but he had no clue what it was. 

"Throw it back." With that, Kuroo faced sideways, bent over kicked his leg up, and jutted his butt out. 

Kuroo continued to do it nonstop, waiting for a reaction from Tsukishima, who was staring at him with his mouth agape and face scrunched in confusion. "C'mon, say something, I'm getting tired!"

"What the fuck?"

Kuroo faced the camera again with his arms akimbo. Kuroo, to say the least, was disappointed. He expected Tsukishima to be amazed, maybe even in awe—not going to lie though, he wanted him to feel something else, if you know what I mean; honestly, he expected anything except for this. Then again, though, it's Tsukishima, so this was to be expected. His reaction was no different from when he practiced it in Kenma's room, who was disgusted and decided to kick him out of his room.

"Never mind," Kuroo sighed and neared his phone to bring the screen closer to his pouting face. "I guess you didn't like it, then."

Tsukishima closed his book and placed it on his desk. He tilted his head to the side with a smirk on his face before saying, "I didn't say I didn't like it. I would just prefer to see it personally."

Again, Kuroo felt hot all over and he groaned. Tsukishima was the only one who could make him flustered like this.

"Stop! You can't do this to me! My heart can only take so much!"

  


* * *

  


"Did you like it?"

"Like what?"

" _Oh_. Never mind then. Forget I said anything." Kuroo hung up the call. 

Tsukishima stared confusedly at his screen. He placed his phone down on his desk and continued to read through their class readings. He couldn't focus on what he was supposed to be reading as Kuroo's question continued to bother him. _Like what, exactly?_ He was about to shoot a text to Kuroo, asking what he was talking about only to hear his mother call for him from downstairs.

His pace down the stairs were sluggish. He stopped in his tracks once he saw his mother holding a large stuffed toy crow and a box of strawberry shortcake in her hands. 

"This was addressed to you. How sweet!" She gushed out as she continued to stare at the gifts in her hands. "I'll put this in the fridge and we can have it for dessert later."

She handed him the stuffed toy and headed to the kitchen. The crow stared up at him with beady eyes. He huffed before he planted his face into the crow's stomach. He trudged back up the stairs to immediately call Kuroo. Once the call was accepted, he was faced with the teasing face of Kuroo who was lying on his bed, head leaning on his hand. 

"Heh. So, what do you think?"

"I hate you," Tsukishima whispered as he cuddled the toy to his chest. He patted himself on the back for only showing his face on the screen. He didn't want to show Kuroo this embarrassing state right now. He knows he would just take screenshots and tease him about it.

"No, you don't."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I see the toy under your chin right now."

 _Fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So short story time. This happened like 2 weeks ago.
> 
> I was already writing down chapter 8. And then I was charging my laptop while I was in another room. Suddenly my sis legit opened the door and was like WTF DUDE and she was holding my smoking laptop by the screen because it burned. It burned the sheets. It burned a hole through the mattress, though it was just a small hole. BUT A HOLE NONETHELESS
> 
> The whole house smelt so burnt no joke. Wherever you went, you can just smell that horrible burnt smell. And its not like a nice smelling fire smell too, like the ones when you burn wood, NO THIS WAS DISGUSTINGLY BURNT. I CANT DESCRIBE IT BUT ITS SMELLS SO BAD
> 
> Fortunately doe that my parents werENT THAT MAD, but my mom was scolding me about my laptop use :'> Luckily, the hard drive was safe and I still have my files. And that my fics were saved on Notion rather than individual files. Bless.
> 
> Okay that's all. I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> I'm finishing up chapter 8 rn, but idk when I would actually finish it because school huhu


	9. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,866 words, the most ive done for this series
> 
> have fun

Tsukishima didn't know how long a break should last—days, weeks, months? He doesn't know. They never specified anything nor did he want to ask Kuroo how long their break would be, as if texting him was a good idea in the first place. He's repeatedly typed on his phone to construct a message, but would immediately delete it in fear of being left on read. Being ignored by your significant other was something that he knows he wouldn't be able to stomach; it would mentally hurt and bother him at the most inappropriate times. 

The team has already caught up with his strange behavior—spacing out, lack of snarky remarks, and sluggish movements. The amount of times they wanted to approach Tsukishima was plenty, approaching him individual or in small groups (with at least two rational people included) to question and comfort him. However, the would always stop short when they saw the frown on his face and the fatigue in his eyes. They inferred that Tsukishima's strange behavior was due to his relationship with the Nekoma captain; nothing else could make Tsukishima act so out of the ordinary. It may be hard to say, but they missed the snarky Tsukishima who always enraged those who were the victims of his mockery. 

Yamaguchi, who's known Tsukishima ever since he was young, also hesitated in approaching Tsukishima. Every time Yamaguchi opened his mouth to speak to him, he would stop short at the pale complexion of the male and the bleary-eyed gaze that was directed at him. All he could do was place a hand on his shoulder which Tsukishima would only nod at and return to whatever he was doing. It worried Yamaguchi, but what could he do to help at something he didn't know the problem to?

  


* * *

  


"Are you all right?"

Tsukishima looked up from his notebook to gaze at the third year. Sugawara was leaning on his desk, his eyebrows drawn together in concern and confusion. It was unusual to see the third year in the first year hallway, what more his classroom. Tsukishima gave a short hum in reply, returning to write down notes on his notebook. Sugawara sighed. He knew how to put Tsukishima in his place when he was being sarcastic, but this was a whole other situation for Sugawara and he didn't know what to do. With a groan, he closed the notebook and sat on his desk. 

"Moping around won't do anything," Sugawara snapped. He didn't want to be harsh to a person who is currently experiencing relationship problems, but what else is he to do? Tsukishima isn't doing anything to fix the problem, so might as well be stricter on him.

Sugawara tensed as he stared into Tsukishima's eyes. Rather than the tired eyes he's seen for days, he was shocked to see his eyes full of malice. With a growl, he spoke through his teeth, "You don't know what you're talking about, so back off."

He wouldn't let this perturb him, however, and pushed on. "Then why don't you tell me, hm? It's pretty obvious as to what's bothering you and fighting yourself won't solve your problems."

Tsukishima took a deep breath. "Class is about to start, so I think it's best that you return to your classroom." 

Sugawara was perplexed. Tsukishima didn't usually brush people off so casually without a retort and it honestly scared him with how this could possibly be the norm for a while if he doesn't do anything. With a pout, he slid off the desk and stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

"Fine, I'll go and leave you alone. But remember that the team is there to help you. If not them, then at least Yamaguchi." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to point at Yamaguchi who was silently watching their interaction over at his desk. Sugawara leaned towards Tsukishima, placing a hand beside his lips to whisper, "Or maybe you want to speak to someone who is more mature, then I'm here."

" _Mature_? Give me a break. Mature or not, you'd be the last person I'd think of asking advice from," Tsukishima scoffed to smirk teasingly at the older male who gaped at him. 

"I'm hurt!" He might've been the victim of Tsukishima's retorts today, but he's glad that he's at least back to his regular self, albeit temporarily. 

He passed by Tsukishima with a pat on his head and he was out the door to head back to the third year hallway. He hoped Tsukishima wouldn't hesitate to ask him for help. He knows the boy needs it more than ever.

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima still didn't know how long a break should last—days, weeks, months? Apparently, it's indefinite. Much to his chagrin, he approached Sugawara, who was elated at the presence of the first year during lunch time. They sat in the empty courtyard, sitting on the ground as Tsukishima stared at his lap, Sugawara watching the male twiddle with his fingers. He listened to his worries, problems, and regrets with an open ear. Tsukishima appreciated his concern and guidance; he didn't know how long he could keep it all to himself without breaking down from the overwhelming emotions and bottled up feelings. Sugawara kept his hand on Tsukishima's back the whole time, sometimes caressing or keeping it steady, to serve as a form of comfort to the male who was speaking through the onslaught of tears. 

Sugawara stayed silent. What was he to say to Tsukishima? He _knows_ that Tsukishima knows what he's supposed to do, but for whatever reason unknown to him, he refuses to act upon it. He wants to tell Tsukishima to just "text him!" but is that really the best decision to do, especially with someone who is technically experiencing a heartbreak? Sugawara shivers at the thought of Tsukishima's heart being broken by someone else; he always thought it would be the other way around. Even so, he doesn't want to sugarcoat the situation; Tsukishima can handle it. 

He thinks.

"We both know what you have to do, right?" Sugawara murmured. Tsukishima may be vulnerable right now, but he still didn't want to be attacked by one of his snide comments.

Tsukishima held a hand under his dripping nose as he let the tears that slid down his cheeks dampen his uniform sleeve. "Yeah."

"Then why didn't you do it from the start?"

Tsukishima sat up straight, glaring at Sugawara with a teary gaze. Despite his reddened eyes, Sugawara still felt intimidated by the younger teen. _He definitely has that aura_. "I _did_ ," Tsukishima snapped. His shoulders slumped as he noticed Sugawara's hand lifted over his back and the widened eyes that still shone with worry. He didn't mean to snap at the only person who he asked help from. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Don't worry about it. I can understand why you'd get mad," Sugawara hummed out. His hand resumed its comforting caresses on Tsukishima's back. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"He didn't reply. Didn't even read the messages." 

Sugawara's mouth gaped. He knows that the captain can be a bit petty at times, but not to this extent. His lover was reaching out to him, most likely to correct his mistakes, and he doesn't even bother to reply or read those messages? _What a—_

"Bastard." 

Sugawara murmured in agreement, nodding his head solemnly. "Is there... anything else that you wanted to do?"

"I was planning to go to Tokyo to fix it face-to-face."

"Ah, Tokyo—Wait, _Tokyo_?! You're joking!" Sugawara stood up to his full height, shocked that Tsukishima would do something so drastic. _He must be really serious about this_. "Wouldn't it be better to contact someone close to him first? Like, I don't know, Kenma?"

"I have. He said that he was purposefully ignoring my messages." Tsukishima stood up as well, dusting away the dirt that clung to his pants. He looked in Sugawara's direction, eyebrows scrunched together in concern and a frown settled on his face. "I just want to know his reasons, maybe then I'd be able to accept the situation no matter what his answer is."

"Would you really be able to accept it if what he said wasn't what you expected to hear?"

Tsukishima stared at the ground, a conflicted smile on his face.

"No."

  


* * *

  


A ticket to Tokyo sat in his backpack; head slightly bopping to the music that played through his headphones as he watched the scenery go by. He was glad the week passed by quickly without any further problems with school and the team. He thanked Kenma that he was willing to help him plan how he would approach and talk to Kuroo. However, it scared Tsukishima at how reluctant Kenma sounded over the phone; short replies, vague answers on questions that asked about how Kuroo was doing, and even the unusual tremble in his voice. Tsukishima pushed his thoughts to the back of his mind, assuming that it was due to the late night call that they had. _Hopefully_.

Tsukishima used the time he had before he would reach Tokyo to gather his thoughts and practice what to say. They've just hit a rough patch in their relationship, Tsukishima would always tell himself, and he hopes that this misunderstanding would be cleared up soon. But he can't help the quivering of his hands as he imagines the worst possible scenario.

 _What if he doesn't—?_ He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He furiously wiped his hands onto his lap to rid the sweat the constantly built up on his palms. _No. He would tell me if he wanted us to be over._

_Right?_

Out of the train station, Tsukishima looked around only to see people rushing through the sidewalk. He wasn't used to this amount of people on the streets and he felt a little overwhelmed at how different everything was in Tokyo, albeit the only difference he noticed was how the people always seemed to be in a rush. He hesitantly stepped out of the train station only to be bumped on the shoulders by a salaryman who didn't bother to apologize. Tsukishima scoffed and, just like everyone else, quickened his steps to where Kenma suggested he meet Kuroo. 

He held his phone, the dotted lines on the map showing the short distance he had to walk before he would reach his destination. He scanned the area to see a café similar to the one they went to in Miyagi, the yellow and white checkered curtains stood out to the plain colored shops beside it. He stared at the cacti that was on the windowsill. He reminisced the time he brought Kuroo to the same café back in Miyagi, how he was flustered at Kuroo's teasing, which ultimately led to him running out of the shop and to the park. Tsukishima cringed at himself crying in public as a scowl formed on his face. _Never again_.

He shoved his phone into his pocket and pushed the white door open. He could smell the aroma of roasted coffee beans and sweets, but the smell turned sour once his eyes fell on Kuroo's familiar frame seated on the table located at the very corner of the shop, dim lighting illuminated the corner and casted a gloomy atmosphere over the area and Kuroo's intimidating figure. The chime of the bell caught his attention and he immediately looked towards the door, eyes meeting Tsukishima's. The blonde took a sharp intake of breath and strode over to where Kuroo sat. The captain's eyes never left Tsukishima's figure, eyes following him until he sat in front of him. To be honest, it was unnerving to see Kuroo so serious yet so somber right in front of him; he prefers the Kuroo who was lively and bright, not the Kuroo who looked dead-tired and apathetic.

Kuroo cleared his throat, catching Tsukishima off guard. Tsukishima hesitated. What was he to say? How should he say it? Everything that he practiced before coming here was stuck in his throat as if he didn't know how to say the words that came smoothly in his thoughts. He was rendered speechless in the captain's presence, elated at seeing Kuroo once more in spite of the serious situation they were both in right now. Kuroo, on the other hand, looked hesitant to be here—his leg bouncing in anticipation, hands on his lap as if he was ready to leave at any moment; there wasn't even any drink or pastry placed on the table. That was when Tsukishima realized that Kuroo didn't want to be here. That was when he realized why Kenma sounded reluctant in Tsukishima's coming to meet Kuroo.

Tsukishima gulped and strengthened himself. _If he doesn't want this, might as well get it over with_. He tries to stay aloof to the whole situation, but he couldn't help the feeling of desperation and anguish that gnawed at him. "I just wanted to know why you haven't been replying to my messages."

Kuroo clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. Tsukishima gaped. _Who_ was this? This wasn't the Kuroo he knew and loved. "That's it? This is the only reason why you asked Kenma to set this up, just to ask why I haven't been replying to your messages?

"... _pathetic_."

Tsukishima didn't meet Kuroo, he met a _stranger_ —he was not someone he was familiar with nor will he ever be. He didn't want to cross paths with a stranger who wanted nothing to do with him, and yet here he is interacting with him.

"Excuse me? ' _Pathetic_ '? Aren't you the pathetic one here, thinking that he can escape his problems by "taking a break" and ignoring messages?" Tsukishima scoffed. He knows they're spouting words that would infuriate the other, whether they mean it or not. Kuroo's jaw tensed as he straightened up in his seat.

The café felt tense. The workers were no longer behind the counter, customers idly chatting and eating long gone—they were alone, in private. Tsukishima was thankful that no one would be here to watch their conversation get heated. Importantly, _if_ it even reaches that point, he doesn't want anyone to see him in his most vulnerable state.

Not even _him_. 

"You're telling me that this whole thing started, because of _me_? For just asking what the problem was to which you refused to answer?" Tsukishima stared at him plainly, no movement to be seen from him; Kuroo already knew what the answer was. "I'm your boyfriend, Kei! I'm supposed to be there for you, I _care_ about you! Why can't you see that?" His voice rose in every word, until it lowered down to a whisper. His hands were clenched into tight fists on the table, eyes shaky as he tried to hold in the tears that he refused to let out. There was a moment of silence until Tsukishima opened his mouth to reply.

"Because I don't want to be left behind."

Kuroo stared at him in disbelief and confusion— _was that really it?_ —and yet he didn't understand why. He waited for Tsukishima, who was busy staring at the table, unmoving. Kuroo's curiosity got the best of him, "I don't get it. What do you mean by that?"

Tsukishima stood from his seat with a sigh. He took his bag with him, and with a final stare in Kuroo's direction, he opened his mouth to say, "Goodbye, Kuroo-san. I won't contact you anymore. Be happy."

Tsukishima strode away from the table, leaving behind a dumbfounded Kuroo. _What was that? That didn't even answer anything!_ But Kuroo knows that once Tsukishima sets his mind on something, he'd follow it through the end, even if it makes him happy or regretful. Kuroo can't change his mind now and he just hopes that maybe someday— _soon_ —he would be able to know his reasons and change his mind. But for now, it's best that they part ways.

"You know—"

Tsukishima stops at that. He gripped onto the doorknob. He wants to leave already, get away from the stuffy atmosphere that they built, but he was curious. _Know what?_

"I was the one who asked Kenma to bring you here."

Tsukishima bit his lower lip and pushed his way out the door, the tiny bell ringing violently. The chimes rung loudly in Kuroo's ears, reminding him of the significant person that left his life. He tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling in abandon. 

  


_Everything came full circle in the same café._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gggrrrrrr
> 
> i started this on feb 8, and its already feb 22. i really do hate school


	10. Perpetual Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima is selfish, but he regrets it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2.7k words :0
> 
> Final chapter of this story
> 
> Thank you so much for reading until the end!

Tsukishima is _selfish_. 

He knew that. But usually, the most selfish thing is to keep someone close to you, isn't it? 

But no. Tsukishima isn't selfish in that kind of way.

He'd rather let someone he loves vanish from his life rather than get hurt. He thought of no one but himself; even Kuroo's feelings didn't deter him from doing what he feels like is the right thing to do.

Tsukishima is selfish, but he regrets being selfish, especially when it comes to him. 

He knows he should've listened to what Kuroo was trying to tell him through the desperation in his voice. Yet he blocked out every voice that isn't his and focused on what he thinks is the best decision.

 _Leave_.

And that's exactly what he did because that was what he was good at: running away from all his problems as if that was the best decision. Every time he closes his eyes, he could see the Kuroo's expression full of anguish—eyes glassy and lips trembling as he held in his tears. Tsukishima can't imagine how hurt he was at that time, but _it's for the better_ , he would convince himself whenever he felt like running back into his arms. However, he would hold himself back from letting his urges take over, because in the first place, he was the one who was selfish enough to end their relationship. 

The moment he told Yamaguchi and Sugawara what he decided to do, he was bombarded with reprimands and exasperated sighs. Tsukishima looked back to his door, hoping that his brother doesn't come in to check what all the yelling was about. He didn't need his brother berating him; two was enough. He was slumped on the floor as Yamaguchi and Sugawara stood over him, arms akimbo while they continued to sigh and groan at his "acts of stupidity," as Yamaguchi put it.

"Ahh—! Seriously, Tsukishima, I thought you would know better," Sugawara whined, hands coming to ruffle his hair, frustrated at Tsukishima who was busy staring at the floor. He practically blocked out what they were saying the moment they started. 

Yamaguchi sighed in defeat. Tsukishima wasn't listening nor was he even trying to listen. He sat in front of Tsukishima in defeat, noticing the way his eyes were unfocused. Yamaguchi pulled at Sugawara's pant leg, pulling him to sit beside him and observe the contemplating male. It was quiet for a while, something that unnerved Yamaguchi and Sugawara.

"Tsukishima?" Sugawara leaned closer to Tsukishima only to pull back in surprise. He glanced at Yamaguchi who was sporting the same surprised expression as him. Tsukishima, the usually stoic male, was sobbing in front of them and they didn't know what to do. He rubbed at his eyes to stop the flowing of his tears, but each time he wiped away his tears, new ones replaced them.

"Tsukki?" Yamaguchi placed a hand on Tsukishima's thigh, rubbing soothing with his thumb. Tsukishima bent forward and laid his forehead flat on the floor, hiding the way he sobbed uncontrollably over a choice he decided to make on his own accord. All Yamaguchi and Sugawara could do was rub Tsukishima's back, giving comfort and their presence.

It took a while until his crying ceased and hiccups racked his body. He nervously twiddled with his fingers. He was grateful to Yamaguchi and Sugawara for being so patient with him, sitting in front of him as they continued to rub his arm and thigh in sympathy. Even now, he can hear Kuroo's words echoing in his head.

_Pathetic._

He exhaled sharply, blinking his eyes rapidly to rid of the tears stinging the corner of his eye; his nose burned due to the unshed tears. He wants to go back to that café before he even did something stupid. He wants to feel Kuroo's warmth once again. He wants to have more late night calls with him. But now he can't and he probably never will.

"...I hate myself," Tsukishima mumbled out. The two boys looked in his direction. At this point, they both didn't know what to do now. They didn't know how it felt to experience what Tsukishima did, nor did they know what advice would be fitting. For now, all they could do was be with Tsukishima all throughout. 

Yamaguchi was the first one that spoke up. "What do you want to do, Tsukki?"

"We'll be here with whatever you choose to do," Sugawara said to which Yamaguchi nodded in agreement.

Tsukishima thought about it. What did he want to do? Would he text Kuroo, say everything was a mistake, and act as if nothing happened? Or would he talk to Kuroo and clear things up with him?

He chose neither.

"I..." He gulped. "I'll live as if he never existed in my life."

Yamaguchi and Sugawara shared a look. Tsukishima would mostly suffer from this, but if it's what he wants, they'd respect it. They nodded and brought him into their embrace. 

"We'll be here."

  


* * *

  


Tsukishima tried to live as if _he_ never existed, but the moment he got home, _he_ would plague his mind. Everyday, Kuroo was the only one he could think of. What was he doing right now? Is he okay? Is he stressed because of volleyball and university requirements? He probably was after seeing how the third-years were always on-edge and tired. But, as soon as he accepted that Kuroo was part of his life, that was when he was able to sleep soundly at night. He would remember their good and bad times, smiling as he reminisced without any sort of negativity clouding his mind every time his thoughts wandered to him. 

He accepted that maybe they just weren't meant to be in this life, but it didn't stop him from thinking what if they were, but just at the wrong place and time. Tsukishima hoped that was the case. There were times where he would crave Kuroo's warmth and attention only to remember that they were no longer together. His thumb would hover over the call button on his contact number, but would pocket his phone before he could.

"Their graduation is today, I heard."

Tsukishima looked over to Hinata who was fidgeting in place. He almost didn't hear him through the smacks of volleyballs echoing in the gym. He raised an eyebrow at him. "And you're telling me because...?"

He shrugged and puckered his lips. "Hm... nothing really, just thought you should know." With that, he ran back on the court, bickering with Kageyama.

He stood by the bench. _Graduation, huh._ He strode over to Ukai and Takeda who were watching the other members practice. He stood in front of them, effectively blocking the view of the members with his looming figure. Their focus moved to him.

"I'm leaving early today. I'm sick," Tsukishima _coughed_. Tried to cough but it just sounded like he was a cat trying to dislodge a hairball stuck in his throat.

Ukai raised his eyebrows at him skeptically while Takeda seemed shocked at the unusual behavior of their middle blocked. Ukai crossed his arms, "No you're not."

"Yes, I feel like I am."

The whole gym fell quiet. They listened on to their conversation, some confused while others snickered at Tsukishima's attempt at ditching volleyball practice. His eyebrow twitched at that. Desperate, he bowed, "Please, I need to go."

Ukai looked at the other members scattered around the gym. They were practically begging him with their eyes (some more hesitant than the others, but still did it nonetheless) and Ukai couldn't say no to how desperate they looked.

Ukai groaned and waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. Leave and get better."

Tsukishima bowed once more and gathered his things before he rushed out the gym. Immediately, he sprinted to the nearest train station, in a rush to buy a ticket to Tokyo. He knows there's a possibility of not seeing him at all, but he prays that he would. At least one last time. 

_I deserve it... We both do._

He skidded to a halt at the ticket counter, eyes quickly scanning the timetable. He clicked his tongue at the train arriving at approximately five minutes. He sighed deeply at the price as well. His wallet would suffer later on, but it was worth it. _Hopefully_. Without anymore hesitations, he paid for the ticket and rushed to the line, running down stairs and dodging people that were slowing him down. 

His leg tapped impatiently on the train floor. He stood by the train doors, too restless to sit down. He would have to stand for at least two hours, but he didn't feel tired at all. He just wishes this train would move faster. His phone buzzed in his hands and he immediately looked down to see a text from Hinata.

> **Shrimp**  
>  kenma told me that he's going to try to keep him from leaving after the ceremony so you better hurry up!  
>  you owe me btw!!!!!!!!  
> 

  
Tsukishima huffed. He was thankful for Kenma and Hinata.

All he had to do now was reach the school before he could even leave without a proper goodbye.

  


* * *

  


The moment he reached the Tokyo station, he rushed out to hail a cab. His wallet would really suffer, but it would all be worth it later one. _Will it?_ He sat anxiously in the taxi, looking out the window as he reminisced the time they randomly met in the streets of Miyagi and how it led to their confession. 

He didn't expect a warm welcome when he arrives on the Nekoma campus. Definitely not, with the amount of students (and some parents) still loitering around the school courtyard even as the sun continued to set. Eyes focused on him and he gulped down on the urge to leave and never come back. He really wishes this wasn't a bad idea. In the crowd, he spots Kenma waving him over, and he immediately strides over to him. 

It was hard to focus due to his ears buzzing in worry as Kenma pointed in the direction of the main building, telling him the floor and classroom that Kuroo was located in. Apparently, he didn't even have to convince him to stay for a while since Kuroo himself decided he would stay until the sun sets. Not knowing the reason why, Kenma bowed in farewell and left the school courtyard.

Tsukishima, who was previously in a hurry, slowed his steps to the main entrance of the building. Despite wanting to give closure in their relationship, he also didn't want to see him in fear of what his reaction would be to his unexpected visit. But they both deserved a proper understanding as to why their relationship unfortunately ended. With renewed determination, he hopped up the steps and dashed through the empty hallways to the classroom that he was in.

He stopped in front of the door to see Kuroo sitting on a desk, staring at out the window. The setting sun casted an orange glow over the classroom, giving an impression of warmth and peace. He slid the door open and quietly stepped closer to his relaxed figure. He didn't even look away from the window as Tsukishima stood a foot away from him.

"I saw you talking to Kenma in the courtyard."

"Did you know I would come here?" Tsukishima asked. 

Kuroo finally looked away from the window to gaze at Tsukishima's disheveled state. Hair in disarray and still in his volleyball gear with his bags haphazardly hanging over his shoulders. Kuroo smiled at that. 

"Of course I would, I was the one who told Kenma, who told Hinata after all." Even with the tension between them, he was still as teasing as ever. The smirk that adorned his face was something that Tsukishima definitely missed seeing.

"Ah. So you planned it all along." Tsukishima nodded in realization. No way Hinata would just tell him that out of the blue. He expected it from Yamaguchi or even Sugawara, but not the least person he expected.

Kuroo shrugged his shoulders mischievously. Tsukishima looked at him up and down. He's never seen him in the uniform before, not with the entire get-up he means, complete with the blazer as Kuroo always complained how the blazer never allowed him to roll his sleeves up to his elbows. His eyes travelled to the ribbon pinned on the lapel and the rolled up diploma sitting on the desk.

"So you've finally graduated. Congratulations."

"Thanks. It was _hell_ getting to this point, but it was worth it." 

They stood in an awkward silence, not knowing what to say next. They avoided looking directly into each other's eyes, deciding it was better to just let their gazes wander around the empty classroom. 

Finally fed up with the silence, Tsukishima started, "I was scared, you know. Of being left behind."

Kuroo remembers. He's said that during their very last meeting and he never forgot it since. How could he, if that was the last thing he said before completely disappearing from his life. He's never understood what Tsukishima meant even if he thought about it day and night, until now.

"I...I was afraid that I was just...that I wouldn't be able to catch up with you as we were both busy with our own lives. That soon enough, you'd just forget I existed and move on as if I was never even there in the first place. It was harder that you were in Tokyo, me in Miyagi; high school, university—they're both such two different things that I couldn't handle having the possibility of you just—"

Tsukishima stopped his rambling. His throat started to clench up and sobbed at the overwhelming feeling. He thought he's accepted Kuroo not being in his life, but verbally expressing it _in front_ of said person, he couldn't imagine him not being there beside him. Kuroo choked up at seeing Tsukishima so vulnerable had him pulling him close and rubbing his back soothingly. Tsukishima continued to sob into Kuroo's shoulder, gripping onto his back desperately, as if he would disappear if he let go.

Kuroo shushed him. "We're okay," he whispered. 

They stood there for a few more minutes after Tsukishima's sobbing softened to slight sniffles and hiccups. Kuroo, who was caressing the back of Tsukishima's head, held him tighter.

"I understand where you're coming from, Kei, but _please_ , remember that I'm here for you and I always will be. We're both scared, but we know we can overcome it, right?"

Kuroo pulled away from Tsukishima who was covering his face with his hands. Kuroo laughed at that and pulled his hands away. Tsukishima's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, nose red, and lips pursed. Even in the most vulnerable state, Tsukishima was still beautiful. Tsukishima reddened at Kuroo's steady gaze, unmoving and unreadable.

"We're okay," Kuroo murmured and planted a kiss on Tsukishima's forehead.

"Thank you."

Kuroo leaned back to see a genuine smile on Tsukishima's face.

"Thank you for being in my life once more, Tetsurou."

  


* * *

  


The gymnasium was full of cheers. Even the members of the Sendai frogs (specifically Koganegawa) were loudly cheering on the sidelines. Tsukishima, on the other hand, sat on the bench with his hands in his jacket pockets. His eyes travelled across the whole gym. He didn't stop until it landed on a particular figure standing by the gym entrance, standing a few feet away from the cameras, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Kuroo gave him a small wave and a thumbs up. 

Tsukishima smiled at the gesture, giving a small wave back. He lifted his left hand up to his lips to kiss the ring that encircled his finger.

"Thank you."

  


_With Kuroo, he's always bathed in his love and affection. Together, they've made a promise that they'd always be in each other's perpetual warmth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it's done! Thanks so much to those who read this story until the end. I know there are parts that I rushed and didn't put any thought into it, but I felt like I was dragging it on for too long and I just needed it to end already :'>
> 
> The ending was supposed to be sad where they legit just dont get together at all but ggrrrr i didnt want to do that. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> Up next: SakuAtsu office!au fic :>


End file.
